Unfunky Drummer & Other Instant Production Solutions

dream-on-pro2

Yes, Dream On Pro is a spoof based on trends in music production technology, but are software tools that require no musical talent or skill really that far from reality? Certainly a software suite containing such tools as Unfunky Drummer, Make Music Like, and Creative Difference Engine would become an instant bestseller.

[David Kusek via ST]

133 thoughts on “Unfunky Drummer & Other Instant Production Solutions”

    • you actually have to know how to use FL and Reason to make something halfway decent, just like with any other piece of gear. Which tells me havent tried either one.

      Hey, little kids don’t follow these dopes.

  1. they can joke all they want software aint going nowhere.
    nothing is gonna make you sound good if you dont sound good you dont sound good . whether its on an mpc or fruity loops. you gotta add that salt and pepper no matter what u use

  2. Ain’t happening. It’s an insult to giants like Miles Davis Beethoven and Bill Evans to even believe that it’s possible to create music with no musical talent. And with no musical skills!??! Truly nothing soulful can come out of it in reality. The lazy person interested in finding the easy road to making music (i.e. with no desire to learn the craft) can sleep on and dream on, in my opinion, cuz it ain’t happening. I know it’s meant as a joke, but it strikes a chord with me(pun intended)….

  3. @ FELLER .IF YOU USE REASON OR FRUITY LOOPS BUT IMPORT YOUR OWN SOUNDS WHATS THE DIFFERENCE ? MOST MPC’S DON’T COME WITH SOUNDS ANYWAY.YOU LOAD THEM EITHER THRU FLOPPY SCSI ‘ SD CARD ‘ OR SAMPLE .DON’T GET ME WRONG ITS A WONDERFUL THING IF YOU HAVE AN MPC BUT IF YOU DON’T THAT MEANS YOU CAN’T MAKE A BANGIN TRACKS I DISAGREE. DJ KALIL MAKE DOPE BEATS IN REASON . 9TH WONDER HOLDS HIS OWN WITH FRUITY LOOPS. JUST BLAZE IS FIRE ON THE MPC ! I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING ? IM SO TIRED OF THIS DEBATE.

  4. @ tony—I’m talking about the whole “instant production” spoof that is the subject of this post—-basically making music with no care about the art……. microwave beats and arrangements doesn’t sound right to me, I think people get out of their music what they put into it—time and soul, man…I have nothing at all against people who use FL or any other software, if they can rock it—but for me to expect to make something nice without putting in time and working at it just shouldn’t be possible…..unless I’m in it just for quick cash…peace!!

  5. Some so-called producers these days sound deceptively good due to such programs. Music is being diluted and the talentless are being praised. It’s a shame.

  6. uh, everybody has a valid point, and I think Michael has the best point of all – seriously, with some of the really good albums that have been put out in the last few years and then the dude that puts it out say “yeah, I just use FL and a controller” – then you got the flip side, dudes with studios full of expencive shit that put out pure garbage – it’s not the means, it’s the dude behind the means

    btw, I think this shit is funny – music production IS getting more and more spoon fed to the masses, but the weak will always fall off and the cats with drive and talent will usually prevail, it doesn’t matter what they use -me, I use hardware , software, wax and live instruments, so whatever, why would you put your art in a confined box?

  7. I have yet to find a plug in that could help me make a beat. The closest thing I have seen to actually “cheating” would be layering pre-fabricated loops on Logic and calling it a day. I don’t know anybody who uses plug ins to compensate for no talent, other than the obvious auto-tune. In my opinion, its almost more difficult to make good music with this stuff than old school hardware, because there are just too many options. Anytime you put an obstacle in front of a creative person, that’s where you get ingenuity. If anything is possible, its much harder to think out of the box.

  8. Yeah, you have heard it 100 times before, Its not what you got, its how you use it….I can get creative with anything ( software, hardware, live etc ) just put it in front of me and I will start to manipulate it until I start to feel it.

  9. i think it’s all BULL$HIT! I mean, you got guys SAMPLING PHRASES and HITTING PADS on an MPC or KEYBOARD triggering SAMPLES (PHRASE SAMPLES) and THESE cats run around thinking they’re “MAKING A BEAT.” come on people, wise up. if you sample a friggin record and “cut” it up on pads or keys, THAT’S EXACTLY the “INSTANT MUSIC PRODUCTION” right there.

    All these cats who claim to be “making beats” are the biggest hippocrates of all. Holding down a pad that plays an instrumental “riff” or holding down a pad to play a “drum break” seems pretty instant to me. Or rather… “re-arranging” a cut up sample, or drum break… still the same crap to me.

    learn to play instruments and understand music, then you’ll be able to “Create” music.

  10. @BROOKLYN CALI. I FEEL U BUT TAKING SOMEONE EALSES SONG AND SAMPLING IT AND MAKING SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IS COOL . I RESPECT THAT ALCHEMIST ‘ KONYE AND ALL THEM DUDES MAKE BEATS THAT ARE FIRE AND THE SAMPLE MAKES SCENCE’ THATS GREAT !! TO MAKE A GREAT SONG OR EVEN BE A DECENT PRODUCER THAT HOLDS YOUR OWN YOU HAFTO DO ONE OR ALL OFF THESE 3 THINGS ……
    *BE GOOD AT SAMPLING.
    *KNOW HOW TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT OR AT LEAST A FEW CHORDS
    *BE GOOD AT MANIPULATING SOUNDS.
    THEN YOU GET INTO SONG STRUCTURE (accentuation) ‘
    and the list goes on.

    SO HONESTLY SOFTWARE CAN DO MORE THAN MOST HARDWEAR SAMPLERS (AND ITS CHEAPER ) !! ‘ BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO DESIGNED THE SOFTWARE MODELED IT AFTER THE HARDWEAR SAMPLERS ‘SYNTHS ECT. IF IT WASN’T FOR KEYBOARDS WITH FILTERS ‘ OSCULLATORS’ MPC’S ‘ASR’S AND ALL THAT SHIT THERE WOULDN’T BE A REASON OR A FRUITY LOOPS’ BUT JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING CAN DO MORE IT STILL DON’T HAVE THE SAME FEELING. (AGAIN GIVING PROPS TO ALL THE HARDWEAR USERS …KEEP IN MIND I LIKE BOTH HARDWEAR AND SOFTWEAR BUT IM NOT CRAZY ABOUT THAT FRUITY LOOPS SHIT) ANYWAY MY POINT IS YOUR CREATIVITY AND SOUND IS TRULY UP TO THE USER .
    MUSIC IS ALL ABOUT OPINIONS AND EVERYBODY HAS ONE .
    A REAL PRODUCER TO ME IS SOMEONE WHO MAKES GOOD MUSIC.THE LISTENERS AT YOUT FAVORITE RADIO STATION AINT GONNA WORRRY ABOUT WHAT YOU MADE THE TACK ON.NEITHER IS THE HOES SHAKIN THIER ASS IN THE CLUB. EVEN A FEW CATS SITTING IN THIER CARS SMOKIN AN L WONT CARE EITHER LONG AS THAT SHIT IS HOT.I AIN’T SAYIN ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY NOW BUT ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY NOW.

    • check out fl studio 9 has a pluging called maximus ,read what it does and trust me you never have masterd as dope as you can with trowing just a single maximux pluging over your instruments or master,i use cubase for years i do now all my mastering in fl studio 9 man!!!new technology go,s far!!! basicly with that pluging you dont have to learn mastering(although i did school for mastering and shit) trust me sinds this new pluging people will go master in fl soon as they hear it !! now im waiting on cubase to drop a pluging like that!!i still love doping everything myself yo ,but that pluging changed my whole perspective on making smashing drums!!now if you do it right offcourse it does it for me!!and trust me ive compared what you could get out of cubase with dynamics,comporessors,expanders,stereoenhancers gate etcetcetc cause great drums need alot of process and good eq,if you eq rright in fl studio and drop maximus over it you see what happens!!!thats called new technology,it would be nice if you download it trough torrent (i got it legal)only for that funtion yo !!!nah joking i use fl for somany years too!!
      so i just got my free updates they deliver !!but trsut me run your masterd beats trough it check what it does !!peaceeee

  11. yo fl studio added one tool thats new in 9 wich makes your levels automaticly go 0 db and sounds dope aswell ,its called maximizer.in cubase i have to eq and effect it alot (layering ) to get smashing drums,that pluging maximizer,does it for you,making music is becouming simpler and simpler ,trust me soon it isnt a big deal to make a good beat !!!!!!

    it has all the drumcompression shit even the ny parralell compression,its to easy nowdays man !!!!if you dont believe me download fl studio run your allready masterd beat trough it and you hear your mix is probbebly not so good masterd lol anyways what i wanted to say is,making good music is something even a starter can do now,(if they use fl) the dude who you know who just started will bring if he uses maximizer on everything better masterd beats then th eperson doing it for 5 years ,feel me?? new technology go,s far yo

    • Now you are just downgrading the whole beatmaking scene just like that on a christmas day what the fxxk man. If anybody could make good beats then we would see much more shit come out thats amazing and not just like 30% amazing stuff. So i dont agree with you on that one.

      • I don’t think there ever can be any plug-in or any thing that can guarantee you a good piece of music that sounds like it was manufactured by a human soul. I mean, I know time is money or whatever, but is it really worth the sacrifice for something you’re putting your name on to be dug up decades from now? I guess the money part is the problem, but that’s a whole new essay…..

        • Plus, why even bother with music if you don’t want to take time to learn your trade? Even if it is just a hobby, folks should learn how to do it well and then do it well, without looking for shortcuts to excellence…..if they want to slouch in making music, they probably look for the easy way out with most everything else in life…peace!!! 🙂

        • hey im just saying whats new in the industry !!! i cant help it that technology go,s this fast lolhaha

          plus how in the fuck caN you compare beatmaking with what you do in your life?thats sounds like you tomuch online man ,who are you to judge what people do?its good you state your opinion but why should i listen if you cant respect someone elses opinion?i think its hard for you to fallow the modern technology ,you becouming real oldschool haha

      • no im not downgrading the whole scene!!go read on wikepedia the loudness war!! and then read what maximus in fl studio is for!! beatmaking is one thing but making them industry readdy to work on is a another thing!! and something you defnatly should learn orels no one will work with you lol

        i cant help it software comes with tools to make it all more simpler,like in the past you didnt had chord presets,what does every software preset has nowdays (long time)?chords presets ,now someone who uses that can sounds way iller and mor proffesional then someone who actual know,s the notes !!ive heard people with 0 % skills making hot beats just by programming stuff haha

  12. shits just new toys. if you don’t agree with it, fuck it. this is the very beginning of a long road of new advances. i don’t like it but i don’t gotta impose my view or argue. i think it’s wack so i say fuck it. have your opinions

  13. dudes, what the hell! this is a disaster 4 hip-hop music generally if we use softwares wiht no talent.don’t get me wrong i encourage new technology cuz we need it but if it cost us losing this amazing music, hell with it! this is not what hip-hop is all about, this not the blood n’ the tears they shed all the hip hop kings . so let use the new technology shit with the right motive, AFTER ALL ITS NOT ALL BOUT JUST FOR THE MONEY YO.u dig, halla @ me

  14. Dudes are trying to fight technology mpc is nothing but a computer with less memory.Sotfware,Hardware you can skin a cat more than one way

  15. I love both software and hardware. Think about this, if software or computer technology was as readily available in the early days of hip hop as it is now, you don’t think some of these classic producers would have been using them too? It’s just a tool, it’s what you do with it that counts…

  16. As long as YOU actually create the music by YOURSELF with your OWN imagination and skills it does not matter what tools you use. I like Hardware-only but this is my personal choice and I am working my ass off and not buying new clothes and stuff and not going to parties in order to buy the tools that I need to make my music. Not everybody is as crazy or passionate to do this.

    • well thats treu!nowdays i get laughed at sometimes for all my hardware gear!
      most go like o why dont buy a laptop with fl studio and your done!!just because somany kids nowdays do that!!they cant unerstand people who actually wanne make own sounds and go deeper into music making then just drawing notes on a screen ,there are somuch laptop producers who are very well knowen that people think it aint a hard job to make beats(but with all them new tools it gets simper and simpler )

  17. btw you can do way more with software ,but its not what you use its the endresults that count!!!! the fact still remains with plugins like maximus a fl starter can master better then someone who does it for years and dont know really how to master!!period!!can i help it they make plugins like that so easy?
    no but aslong as you dont try the plugin you just talking aboutsomething you dont know!!period !!wich means you got no truth in your words to back you up!!
    first try something then give your opinion,dont go ahh that dude this that dude that!go bitch at imagine line

  18. let me ask you this is autotune also made by human soul?no!!!!!!!!!but its still a genre that gets somuch money!!!!so dont talk about human soul and shit cause th emodern industry doesnt give a fuck!!aslong as they can make bucks off it
    thats how fucked up music is nowdays ,artist who get their song written for them!they just a puppet on a string getting played by the big boys

    but btw before you trash someones comment (who talks from experience)why dont you try the pluging then come with your comments?so you the knoweledge of what your talking!you got in every software chords,
    many producers outhere sounds like they know all the choprsa but work with preset chords!!can you bitch about that too?no the job is done simple!!!
    this forum has alot of people talking about stuff wich they never used!!wich makes them not talking from experience ,very annoying yo!!

  19. @everyone. in my opinion, the bottomline is really the knowledge that we each possess. whether you decide to use software OR hardware, it’s really the knowledge of what it is that you will be doing.

    my whole beef is, cats who think sampling a beat and replaying it is making music… when they see someone who is actually skilled and understands music theory they’re like “wow” like it’s some crazy epiphany or something.

    yes, you can make music out of anything… but to “think” you’re making music by sampling something that’s already written and recorded is not the case. it’s like taking a Van Gough, then drawing something with a marker on the painting and calling it your own art. YES… it’s something new, but the FOUNDATION of the artistic vision was already set by someone else.

    That’s all i’m saying.. it’s really about the knowledge and education of what we are as future music creators. kinda like the kid who gets garageband, throws a few apple loops into a sequence, and they call themselves a “songwriter” and/or “producer.”

    much love and respect to EVERYONE who has a creative vision… no matter how you go about it. just educate yourselves on what it is that you do.

    if i put a bandaid on a wound, that doesn’t make me a doctor… THOUGH in reality, i stopped the bleeding… LOL.

  20. ha ha – everybody still fighting over hardware vs. software – seriously, this debate goes back to about 99′ when rebirth first came out and cats started using acid as well – remember that? – whatever, who cares?

    I just got my upright bass back – nothing but wood and metal, no electronics, no operating system – and I use Reason -I also have a garage full of records, hardware and instruments, so whatever, put that in your pipe and smoke it……….

  21. i think everyone is debating over the wrong damn original post. this thread was originally about “instant” production solutions, and not hardware vs. software.

    what i caught from the GRAPHIC, was the solutions like: “hey! i got this piece of software and all these loops… i’m a producer/beatmaker now by placing this green loop over here, then taking this blue loop and putting it here…” whollla! instant production!

    kinda like coloring by numbers… it doesn’t quite make you an artist, HOWEVER, you could be a damn good colorist.

  22. The funniest thing is when people talk like they invented music. bklyn2cali, who the f**k do you think you are to tell people what they should and should not do? Or what is and isn’t something? Did you create music? Did you create anything? No.
    The best thing about hip-hop is that traditional musicians aren’t the best at making the real sh*t. Traditional musicians make pop-rap, radio rap, whatever you wanna call it. No clasically trained musician could have made “Lookin At The Front Door” for example–it’s an entirely different mind set and practice. I mean, listen to Del’s albums before he studied music theory and after. There’s a clear winner there, but don’t make me say it.
    Electronic music is different, just accept it. The only reason people get mad is that they can’t understand or aren’t good at it (both usually coexist). I get a feeling from hip-hop music that i can’t get from any other music; so you telling me the guys making it aren’t musicians simply exposes you for the flimsy, antiquated, condescending person that you clearly are. The world doesn’t revolve around your inadequacies pal, and if the fact that so many people find joy in something pisses you off, then perhaps you should consider listening to the music that makes YOU happy and stop trying to ruin it for everyone else.
    Go tell stories about how you walked 20 miles to school in your day, and gum cost 5 cents, and real musicians were real musicians if you must, but it doesn’t make you any less of a dick.

    • Real Hip Hop was created by people who did not know how to play instruments , so they had to come up with ways to get around that.
      Sampling gives a feeling real instruments or Synths can not reproduce!!!
      Take Premier , Pete Rock , RZA, Eric Sermon and others all great Hip Hop producers who did not know how to play “real” instruments but managed to make good music.
      I’m not dissin’ real musicians because I play percussion , I’m talking about the so called “Elite” who think they are better and their music sounds like NO and not Whoa!!!
      Now they want to talk trash , Sampling is an Art ,Chopping is an Art , to make a Real Hip Hop beat that sounds good there is a lot that goes into it.
      Beat Matching ,Editing , Listening, Filtering Etc…

  23. I helped instigate this dumb debate .The fruity loops users against the reason heads ! lol lol
    If you talk bad about the others geeks programs of choise the posers on the other side feelings will get hurt. ha ha ha

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